Geldof builds diplomatic bridges to allay global tension

Sir Bob Geldof has pulled off an unprecedented major diplomatic coup in persuading many of the world’s top political leaders to agree to record a CD album for world peace along with guest artists, Bananarama.

Speaking to Mark Radcliffe today on BBC 6 Music he said: ‘I couldn’t sit back and watch the madness any longer. The pfokin world is teetering on the brink of pfokin Armageddon with what these jokers are up to. I just had to do something to try to save the planet.

It was tough getting some of them to agree but once Bananarama came on-board  we found it really helped; particularly with Trump.’

Rather than performing as a collaborative vocal choir each leader has recorded an individual song, and as a hidden bonus track Theresa May and Donald Trump have performed a duet.

Sir Bob added: ‘Turns out that Kim Jong-un is pfokin tone-deaf, but Midge (Ure) got him to whistle the theme to M*A*S*H and we have since corrected all the bum notes with auto-tune and a shed-load of reverb.

The CD is released this Friday with proceeds going to the International Red Cross and has the following track listing:

Theresa May – Looking for clues
Donald Trump – The eve of destruction
Angela Merkel – If I ruled the world
Emmanuel Macron – There’s no one quite like Grandma
Shinzō Abe – Big in Japan
Kim Jong-un – Suicide is painless – theme to M*A*S*H (instrumental)
Bananarama – Robert De Niro’s waiting
Theresa May & Donald Trump duet – I’m with stupid (bonus track)

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