London Borough of Camden clamping unit sets sights on Mars

In a bold and opportunistic move, the London Borough of Camden has instructed its parking enforcement department to issue a penalty notice for $12,000,000 to Elon Musk, for what it’s calling ‘future parking charges and non-payment of fines’, just as soon as it can get a wheel clamping unit to the red planet.

The action comes following SpaceX’s successful launch of the Falcon Heavy Rocket carrying Mr Musk’s Tesla sports car destined for Martian orbit.

Neville Palmer, Director of Parking Services for the borough said: ‘We have looked into this and no other authority seems interested in claiming Mars and its upper atmosphere as part of their remit for parking enforcement services. Therefore we are doing so in the name of mankind. Because should Mr Musk be allowed to get away with this wanton flouting of intergalactic parking regulations unchecked, then Mars and its environs will be littered with either orbiting or abandoned cars before we know where we are.’

However when asked by reporters how Camden would seek to enforce its claim, Palmer went on to explain that should Mr Musk try and wriggle out of paying the fines by pleading ignorance to the relevant bylaws, then his attention will be drawn to the two official London Borough of Camden ‘No Parking Anywhere in Space (including perpetual planetary orbiting)‘ signs attached to the International Space Station by astronaut, Tim Peake, during his mission there in 2016.

‘They are clearly visible to anyone leaving Earth’s orbit. So SpaceX hasn’t got a leg to stand on, and once our our wheel-clamping unit manages to get to Mars, even if that takes two thousand years, then rest assured we will be enforcing all penalties and associated accrued interest.’ confirmed Mr Palmer.

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