The Government has agreed to a takeover of all motorway service ATMs by a consortium of payday lending companies, with the new arrangement due to start by July.

It’s understood that when using these machines customers’ own money will not be debited from their bank accounts, instead withdrawals will become a separate loan between them and whichever lender is running the machine used for the transaction.

A spokesman for the consortium, James Allenby, said: “We are bringing in some really innovative changes. Our withdrawals will attract a one-off admin fee of £45, irrespective of the amount, with balances subsequently charged at a very generous APR of 1650% variable per mile. When waiting for their money customers will be shown clips on the ATM screens of twenty stone goatee-bearded thugs masquerading as court bailiffs, menacing and evicting previous customers who have defaulted on their repayments. No one can say we’re being irresponsible here.’

However opponents to the change have said that although current admin fees of £1.99 per transaction are a total liberty, at least they are still a better option, one commenting: ‘Say I’m going from London to Swansea and stop at Reading Services to withdraw a tenner, under this new system I’ll be bankrupt before I get as far as Newport, and I’m a millionaire!’

No one from the government was available for comment but there has been a press release issued saying: If there’s a demand for this then we see no reason to interfere. At the end of the day market forces must prevail.