Former barrow boy and Sid James lookalike, Lord Alan Sugar, has slammed HR Departments as ‘a completely useless tier of middle management that needs to be weeded out’ and has now led by example by disbanding all such units within his own business empire.
‘An army of ‘Joans in Accounts’ will take up the slack under the traditional title of part-time Personnel Officers. Because, let’s face it, what exactly have these other overpaid so-called HR professionals brought to the table in recent years? All they ever do is sit around issuing time-wasting forms for already under-pressure employees, and costing me a bleeding fortune too,’ explained The Apprentice Boss Man.
His view is not universally shared however. ‘HR departments perform a vital role in every business and abolitionists may wish to consider who will see to equitable distribution of coffee and biscuits for inter-departmental meetings? Or sit-in during disciplinary hearings taking pointless notes that are never going to be read by anyone again?’ said Editor of ‘HR for Business’, Gail dobson as she handed out a feedback questionnaire designed to assess her performance in handling the media on the issue.
Meanwhile the news has sparked a bitter war of words between two more TV business-big hitters from Dragons’ Den. ‘HR departments are vital to my businesses. And believe me, I know what I’m talking about. I’m a rich and powerful businessman,’ said Peter Jones. But Touker Suleyman hit back immediately, ‘HR Departments are pointless in my businesses. And believe me, I know what I’m talking about. I’m a rich and powerful businessman,’ countered the new debonair dragon.