Police manhunt to detain writer of Phillip Schofield We Buy Any Car ads

A national police manhunt has been launched in a desperate attempt to detain and apprehend adman, Wayne Jones, the ‘creative’ responsible for the current series of We Buy Any Car TV ads featuring Phillip Schofield.

Detective Superintendent Charles Reynolds told reporters: ‘In creating these vile films the person responsible has perpetrated a heinous crime on an unsuspecting viewing public and must be brought to book as quickly as possible.’

One viewer told Jeremy Vine: ‘I was just sitting watching The Chase with the family and that one of Schofield as a statue came on. I instantly threw up over the dog. I don’t think I’ve seen anything more disgusting in my life. It made those other ads that James Corden does look like high art.’

Meanwhile Superintendent Reynolds has cautioned: ‘This is obviously one sick individual we’re dealing with and the public should keep their distance and call us if they spot Jones. Not unless there is a group of you in which case feel free to grab him then kick him repeatedly in the nuts as hard as you can until we turn up.’

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