ITV viewers have been left fuming and scratching their heads following this week’s Brits award ceremony.

Said one puzzled 50 something: ‘I’ve never heard of any of these people. I watched the show with the wife and it was just boom! boom! boom! All horrible flashing lights and not so much as a sniff of Ant and Dec.’

‘The only thing we enjoyed was that comedian fella, Stormzy. Because even though his ‘deconstructed’ music was bloody terrible we both liked the nod to Slade, spelling his name with a Z. That was a nice touch, Yo! respeck bruv! But someone needs to tell him to slow down a bit, cos he speaks so quickly and we couldn’t make out what he was shouting about in the end.’

And Sir Cliff Richard fan, Daphne Legge added: ‘I was quite worried for Mr Stormy too. Especially when the roof leaked and the rain started soaking him right through. I can’t understand why he never moved, because it was only falling in one place where that spotlight was shining. He could’ve dodged away from it. I was worried he might have caught his death you know.’