TV’s cuddly animal advert community living in terror following online death threats

Following yesterday’s news that Nationwide ads duo, sisters Flo and Joan, have been targeted by on line trolls, Meerkats Aleksandr and Sergei Orlov, from the Compare the Market TV adverts have gone into hiding following a spate of death threats against them was made on social media.

Police have confirmed that they escorted the pair to a safe house late last night as fears for their lives grew.

Chief Inspector Neville Tyler, from New Scotland Yard CID told reporters; ‘The boys are like Marmite and tend to divide viewer opinion with 50% percent loving and 50% percent hating them. A bit like Ant & Dec although the numbers in Ant and Dec’s case are 95% hate, 1% like and 4% can’t decide.’

‘And of course particularly in Sergei’s case we can’t be too careful what with happened to that Russian spy fella with the same name last weekend, so we’re giving them 24-hour surveillance and all the the insects they can handle.’

Fears are now spreading wider across the funny and lovable animal advert community, with Churchy, The Churchill Dog, said to be ‘proper shitting himself’ in light of the recent developments. He too is expected to go into hiding in the coming days unless the culprits are brought to book.

Meanwhile seven foot tall, Sugar Puffs Honey Monster, is said not to be too concerned. He  told ITV News earlier. ‘Bring it on. If just so much as one of these little trolling shite-houses steps out of line with me I’ll rip their fucking head off and stick it up their arsehole.’

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