Militant Daily Mail readers take law into their own hands

A new action group calling itself The Militant Wing of the Daily Mail (ARSE), is believed to be behind the hijacking of a lorry late last night on the M25 that was carrying 150,000 pedometers to be used by Sport Relief as part of this year’s charity appeal.

Claiming responsibility for the action this morning the group released the following statement. There is a rising tide of depravity engulfing this country and we have had enough. It’s time for the moral majority to act. This is the first of our actions but we avow that it will not to be the last. These evil devices have now been destroyed so placing them out of harm’s way for good.

And in the wake of the hijacking there are reports this morning that police are stepping up security patrols outside Pedicure Salons and Paediatric Practitioners  as a precautionary measure.

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