DUP secures BGT win for Orange marching band in exchange for propping up ‘lame duck’ May

Ever since Theresa May’s catastrophic bungling of the 2016 General Election, speculation has been mounting in political circles about just exactly what concessions did the DUP secure when they agreed to prop up the lame duck Tory administration.

But now news has emerged that DUP Leader, Arlene Foster, had one thing in particular on her list that would have been a deal breaker if the PM had not agreed.

Sensationally, the 10th Ballymena Loyal Orange Lodge Pipe and Flute marching band is to triumph in this year’s upcoming Britain’s Got Talent, and it’s understood that the show’s Supremo, Simon Cowell, has been ‘bought-off’ with the promise of a knighthood in the New Year Honours List.

A BGT insider confirmed the rumour: ‘It’s a weird one alright, but Simon’s on-board with it and although we will go through the motions of staging auditions, heats and a final, the ‘kick-the-Pope’ band will definitely win and play for The Queen at this year’s Royal Command Performance.

Mrs Foster, speaking on UTV News said: ‘The band’s cover of the Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars ‘Uptown Funk’ is going to be the soundtrack to Summer, so it is, and with them winning BGT it will see The Arts here in the Province being given a much appreciated ‘shot in the arm.’

There is now further speculation that Mrs Foster, buoyed-up having won one concession, might now insist that the men from Ballymena represent The United Kingdom in next year’s Eurovision Song Contest.

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