Reports from the afterlife today suggest that a casual meeting in the queue at Heaven’s Golden Gates, while waiting to be processed by Saint Peter, has provided the catalyst that will see a sensational new holographic arena tour starring Professor Stephen Hawking and Jim Bowen, as the pair take a new supernatural version of the 1970s darts-based quiz show Bullseye on the road.
Veteran arrows-man and former World Champion, Bobby George, is already signed up to compère the show and throw for charity every night, while spiritualist and some say charlatan, Derek Acorah, will provide a spiritual conduit between the here and now and the great beyond.
Details are sketchy but it’s understood Jim will reprise his contestant-facing duties with brain-box Hawking taking on a sort of Pointlesses-esque Richard Osman role, setting and adjudicating on questions during each round. God, himself a great fan of the original Bullseye, has already green lighted the idea and promised the pair an endless supply of speedboats and fitted-kitchens as star prizes.
Former Strictly Come Dancing head judge, Len Goodman, thinks it’s an amazing project and told reporters: ‘Well what a prospect. It’s a new version of a classic variety show and I can hardly wait to pop my clogs to get in on the act. And I’ll tell you what, if I was Doddy’s agent I’d be pushing hard to get him in on the act too. That would just be the icing on the cake.’