Following the recent war of words between former Vice President Joe Biden and Mr Pumkin Head, Donald Trump, Matchroom Sport supremo Barry Hearn has announced he has inked a deal for a contest that he’s billing ‘The Bout of the Century’, and will see both septuagenarians stepping into the boxing ring at Caesars Palace this June.
An upbeat Biden told reporters: ‘Trump ain’t nuthin’ but a fat and ugly windbag who is grossly disrespectful to women. If he’d said what he said about women and pussy-grabbing to me at high school, I’d have taken him round the back of the gym and beaten the living crap out of him and I just can’t wait to do it in the ring.’
But Trump has hit back with a chant written for him specially by his musical buddy Ted Nugent, that he says is going to put the fear of the Good Lord into his seventy-five year-old opponent:
Joe-Joe is a schmo – and I’m gonna beat you.
You’re the guy who’s gonna cry – as you wave this world goodbye.
It’s to be sung throughout the bout by a group of blonde pompomed 18 year-old cheerleaders standing in Trump’s red corner. Said Trump: ‘It’s a real neat chant. Just the neatest chant ever. FACT! And when Joe the Schmo hears it he’ll be crying in his corner like a real mentally weak baby. Wow!’
Meanwhile Hearn says that interest in the contest, to be fought over 10 thirty-second rounds is intense, with Sky sports and ESPN jointly paying a fortune to televise it live around the world.
‘Forget the Rumble in the Jungle as this is going to be a helluva a night with all the glitz and glamour you’d expect. The Ring Card Girls have been chosen by Donald himself, all from from his previous conquests, and Barack Obama has agreed to be Joe’s Second in the blue corner on the night. There’s never been anything like it before or there will never be again.’
It’s understood that the fight is being staged as quickly as possible bearing in mind that at a combined age of 146, neither man may be around for very much longer.