NHS pay award is slammed by City Traders demanding equal treatment

Following the proposed pay award to NHS staff, calls are coming from The City of London with Traders and Hedge Fund Managers demanding increases of between 95% and 140% in their basic salaries and commissions.

Myles Crabbe, a futures trader with brokers, Winchester and Palmerston, said: ‘Look, if normal people like nurses et cetera are getting a bigger wedge, going forward, then why shouldn’t we? They’re not used to having money and most probably they’ll only spend it on pizzas and fags, or maybe rubbish like keeping body and soul together and a grubby little roof over their heads, whereas if we get more dosh we’ll be able to upgrade all of our cars from BMWs to Mercs, buy a second holiday home in Tuscany and visit Heston’s new Broadgavte place at least twice a week.’

And there is support for Crabbe’s position in Westminster from Chancellor Philip Hammond who told MPs: ‘The City does very important work and is the backbone of Britain’s, nay the world’s economy. What our markets and traders do is of immense global importance. So we must ask ourselves when did we last flog off some of our nationally-owned assets to allow them and their mates to make a killing at the expense of the man in the street? I think it’s high time that we give traders a much needed leg-up.’

Meanwhile Staff Nurse, Brenda Allen, told BBC: ‘We welcome this long overdue move and see it as only the beginning of introducing some kind of equality between different sections of society, we’ve a long way to go.’

‘You see! Give these people an inch and they’ll want to take a mile,’ added Mr Crabbe following Ms. Allen’s remarks.

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