Calls mounting for FA to clamp down on excessive goal celebrations

Following a goal celebration yesterday during the Manchester Derby there are calls today for the FA to do something about the game being held up unnecessarily as celebrations appear to be getting more elaborate and time-consuming.

After Chris Smalling’s winner for United in the thrilling match the players, officials and crowd alike had to endure an almost ten-minute wait before City were able to kick-off again.

Said one supporter: ‘It was all normal to begin with. Smalling’s put the ball in the net and raced for the corner flag where he was joined by his teammates  for the usual stupid dance that means fuck all to anyone else but the team.’

‘Next thing, the kit-man runs on with these skimpy bustiers, fishnets and stilettos which they all put on, link arms and break into one of those dance routines like birds on the old TV programmes did. Sort of hopping from one foot to the other, high-kicking and wheeling round in great big fancy patterns.

‘Then Smalling’s got his phone out and stood there for a good couple of minutes tapping away at it. It was bloody mental.’

However Manchester United Manager, Jose Mourinho, confirmed at the post-match press conference: ‘Only he is WhatsApping his mates down the pub and telling about goal. Is good goal so he is wanting to share news. What is wrong with this? ‘

Commenting on the incident on Match of the Day, Gary Lineker said: ‘This does need watching to be fair but as long as it didn’t get too out of hand then I can’t see a problem. Perhaps Smalling did go  a bit over the top, but come on, the routine was good, and as I said to Shearer, some of the guys have got fine legs and nice tight little bums.’

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