In an extraordinary development former England and Yorkshire County and Test batsman, Geoffrey Boycott, has been revealed today as the leader of an alien invasion force and is accused of being responsible for having led an attack force of flaying saucers in an American Southern State location last week.
Yokel, Zeb Del Razinsky, told reporters: ‘Schucks I was just comin’ back from skinny-dippin in the creek, when all of a sudden the sky went all kinda dark and there was a strange rushin’ wind sound. Next thing from behind the mountains an attack formation of flying saucers appeared.’
‘I recognised former England ace-batsman Mr Boycott as headin’ up the formation at once. I hit the deck, real quick, and luckily they mustn’t have seen me coz they upped and flew overhead, disappearin’ fast headin’ towards the lake. I can’t say what the wuz doing but luckily they didn’t beam me up into one of the craft and start all a-pokin’ and a-probin’ me with frightening looking medical instruments and doin’ sinister experiments.’
It’s an astonishing tale for sure, but permanently-grinning top TV astronomer Prof. Brian Cox thinks he understands what’s happened here. ‘Space and the Universe are both infinite thus offering infinite possibilities for any eventuality whatsoever that can ever be imagined, no matter how left-field it would seem. I think what we have here is a one in a gazillion-trillion-billion-quintillion – all raised to the par of infinity – event that’s actually physically happened.
To help you understand the concept then perhaps try and imagine, although it’s not easy, this being a bit like Boris Johnson actually saying something half-sensible one day.’