Following a complaint regarding loud yelling by a market trader when selling fruit and veg on his stall, Lymington Coucil is to introduce a new market traders’ code of practice.

Wayne Bellows says he was flabbergasted when council officials called and gave him a copy of the code which they say is enforceable under local byelaws.

So instead of calling out in the time-honoured manner as stall holders up and down the land through the ages, Mr Bellows has been told he must use semaphore flags to advertise his wares.

A gobsmacked Wayne said: ‘This is madness. I don’t know semaphore and there’s no room on my stall to be swinging flags about. I’d be liable to have someone’s eye out. It’s political correctness gone mad.’

And although local scout master, Will Bridge, has offered to step in and help Wayne learn how to ‘flag up’ his fruit and veg, Wayne won’t be taking up the kind offer. ‘ I haven’t the time. I’ll just have to make do with an Aldis Lamp in future. I learnt signalling when I was was in the TA.’

Meanwhile Lymington Council released the following statement: In common with many other councils around the UK we are full of pedantic sad little jobsworths only too keen to implement stupid rules and regulations if we get half a chance do so.