News that all four members of Swedish Pop supergroup ABBA have been in the studio together and have recorded two new tracks has been met with a mixed response, following concerns were raised last night about what stage gear they will be appearing in.

Music critic John Landers commented: ‘This is wonderful news that ABBA are back. They’ll certainly show the likes of Simon Cowell and his performing muppets what real pop music written and performed by real musicians and singers is all about. Christmas number one is a shoo-in for Benny, Bjorn, Agnetha and Anni-Frid. No doubt whatsoever.’

But a more discordant note has been sounded by Chief Inspector Alan Warren of The Fashion Police who said: ‘We have been reviewing old photos and videos of ABBA performing in the 1970s and it’s very worrying. We must warn all four members that any attempt to perform similarly dressed this time around will be met with immediate pixelation across all broadcast and social media problems.’

The Chief Inspector continued: ‘We have worked too hard to eradicate the sight of grown men appearing in public wearing sky-blue and mauve paisley-pattern lamé one-piece jumpsuits with matching capes and cravats. Well it’s never going to happen again. Certainly not on my watch. Not ever!’