Like many of her professional colleagues up and down the land, it seems the Summer Holidays can’t come quickly enough for primary school teacher, Anne McKee. That’s because she’s got the future king, Prince George, as one of her charges, and her colleagues are saying she is beginning feel the strain of looking after such an important pupil.
According to a very close girlfriend of the pretty blonde reception class teacher who didn’t want to be identified: ‘Anne’s aged at least ten years since the prince arrived. The pressure is colossal. She’s going to have to divide the break between running to the chiropractor’s trying to get her back sorted out after all the bowing and scraping she’s had to do, and when she’s not there she’ll be at rehab sessions because she’s drinking a bottle of vodka a night. Her nerves are shot to bits. And that’s not to mention the Prozac she’s munching down like Smarties. We’re all so very worried.’
Unconfirmed reports suggest that pressure quickly mounted on the teacher, when during only his second week The Prince’s mother, HRH The Duchess of Cambridge, arrived at the school completely unannounced at home time and ‘kicked off’ in front of all the other mums, ranting that her son was not getting his due respect and was having to sit on a plastic mini chair during story time. Furthermore it was suggested the Duchess was livid that following initial discussions regarding casting for the school’s nativity entertainment it was being suggested that the Prince was to play the nonspeaking part of a haystack and not the King.
Although these matters were quickly rectified; a new brightly-gilded velvet throne sits at the head of George’s classroom and he was hastily recast as Emperor of the Universe in the nativity entertainment, nevertheless it’s understood Anne is still under pressure fearing that George might yet still carry out his threat to have her ‘locked up in the tower’.
Meanwhile Secretary of State for Education, Damian Hinds, dismissed the story out of hand saying: ‘I can’t believe that any of this nonsense is remotely true, and even if it is then I’m certainly not going to get involved. I like this job of mine too much, and with my eye set firmly on number ten when the PM is hoyed out, then I’m not about to mess up my chances for anyone, future King or not.’