In light of Meghan Markle’s father’s will he won’t he? dithering over attending the Royal Wedding on Saturday, it has emerged that entire the agenda leading up to the big event has been scripted by a team of EastEnders story liners.

One source close to Danny Dyer said: ‘We got the brief last year and were told whatever we do ‘make it big and bold’, so Meghan’s Dad disgracing her and embarrassing The Queen by taking part in a cheap and grubby photo set-up by Paps for a few grand was just the first big twist.’

‘This week is going to redefine the term must-see TV and anyone who watches will never forget it for the rest of their lives.’

‘I don’t want to put any spoilers out there as we’ve all worked too hard, but all I can say is be sure and tune in on Saturday, when what we’ve got planned will make the Corrie tram disaster and Emmerdale plane crash look like a picnic in the country.

Scripted Reality has been the new holy grail with TV production companies in recent years with TOWIE, Made in Chelsea an Love Island all massive ratings winners.

According to showbiz correspondent, Simon Williams: ‘If it turns out that Saturday is nothing more than an elaborate reality set-up, then the bar will have been set beyond the stratosphere, it will be a total game-changer and probably even some third journalistic cliché that sadly I can’t think of at the minute.’