The curse of Strictly Come Dancing seems about to strike again, as following last year’s season BBC focus groups have finally judged that there was ‘something missing’ and have demanded Len Goodman’s immediate return to the show.
Media outlets have been frantically seeking statements from Goodman’s erstwhile colleagues on the judging panel but so far no one has been available.
However the news has seen a tidal wave of dismay on social media with the general consensus being a resounding “no” to the idea. One tweeter, @BrunoT, tweeted “Please-a god, let this be nothing more than a sick-a rumour #prayforstrictly”, @brevilletoaster posted “Oh gawd, darling. ‘Strictly’ no way darling. Purrlease!”
A member of a focus group speaking off the record said, “Let’s face it, Len’s a bit of a reactionary dithering duffer. He’s old school. He doesn’t like anything modern or any kind of change. He hates foreign food and loves jellied eels, pie mash and liquor. He’s earned a place in our hearts as the nation’s curmudgeonly grumpy grandad and the show was just not the same with him gone. Let’s get him back for the new run.”
BBC has refused to confirm or deny reports but Goodman released the following statement through his agent. “Cor blimey, squire. Lovely jubbly, ain’t it, eh? Boiled beef and carrots, up the apples and pears at the end of the frog and toad. Me, come back? I”d be chuffed right down to the soles of me daisy roots!”