Boris begs for public’s forgiveness blaming medication on his serial buffoonery

It’s understood that the man tipped by some as next Tory Leader and possible Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, has checked into the exclusive Priory Clinic in an attempt to get himself ‘clean’ from talking absolutely monumental bollocks every time he opens his mouth.

A source close to the flaxen-haired mop-topped gormless buffoon said: ‘Boris has told me he’s truly sorry for the endless crap and drivel he’s been inflicting on the British public this past twenty years, but he wants them to understand that it wasn’t him.’

‘It has been caused by the medication that he has to take daily for his diagnosed foot in mouth disease. For the side effects this has caused he is now truly sorry and begs for the public’s forgiveness.’

However it might be too late for Johnson as it’s understood there is to be a meeting of his constituency party committee this evening when it’s expected he’s to be dropped like a hot potato. One committee member speaking off the record said: ‘Boris is a well-educated chap but not too clever really and that’s what works against him.’

‘Sadly he’s made us look so bloody stupid in recent months that he is now to the party what Rosanne Barr is to ABC.’

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