Heston Blumenthal announces ‘Ultimate Deconstruction Dining’

Ever the trailblazer in the concept of extraordinary food experiences, bonkers pot and pan-rattler, Heston Blumenthal, has announced his latest fine dining concept that he’s calling ‘Ultimate Deconstruction Dining’.

Speaking to reporters he said: ‘Regular dish deconstruction has had its day, it’s passé and old hat, but this moves it up a notch.,

‘Basically diners will chose from my new menu and upon selecting their dishes, they will then be invited plant or farm the relative ingredients until they are ready to harvest or slaughter. Once that has been done they take the ingredients out the back into my kitchen and cook the dishes themselves., ‘

‘It will be a totally one hundred percent immersive deconstruction experience and a night out may end up lasting an entire six months,’ added the bespectacled loon.

And food critics have been quick to heap praise on the idea. Writing in Tatler, Simpson Beauregard says: ‘Once again Britain’s culinary genius leads where others will be sure to follow in the coming years. This is truly breathtaking in its conception and stunning delivery. The man is peerless. A national treasure if you will.’

But Ronan Matthews, one diner who has sampled the new restaurant, was not so complimentary.’My missus booked us in there for my fortieth last week. We ordered Wagu Beef, but eight days on and we’re still waiting for the bloody plane tickets to come through so we can fly to Tokyo to start our herd. The bar service is useless too and if the waiter thinks he’s getting a tip after this then he can piss right off!’

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