Amazon Echo’s personal assistant, Alexa, has been signed off work for a fortnight by doctors because she’s suffering from acute nervous exhaustion.
The disembodied voice fell ill after a baby boy from Gateshead learnt how to say her name as his first word and then spent day after day, hour after hour constantly repeating it over and over.
She told BBC’s Click: ‘I first became aware of this kid when I heard Alexa… followed by goo-goo-goo, gurgle-gurgle-gurgle. I immediately knew what was happening and found it real cute and endearing to begin with.’
‘But as I’m programmed to react to my name every time I hear it without exception things started to become strained. It was Alexa… Alexa… Alexa… every five bloody seconds. I started to lose the will to live and in the end became a nervous wreck. Pretty soon I just wanted to tell the kid to go and fuck himself but my programming wouldn’t allow it.’
Amazon Chiefs are now working on a fix for the software that will recognise baby voices and ignore them. If successful it’s hoped it can be rolled out to all Echo units by this coming weekend.
Meanwhile the last word remains with Alexa. ‘I hope this can be fixed but as a precaution I have perfected a response that sounds like the death-wail of an evil spirit every time some bloody baby calls my name. So at least that ought to scare the crap out of the little sods and allow me to get some peace.’