There is controversy in Royal circles this morning, as a leaked document detailing plans for the christening of Prince Louis reveals that heavy metal band, Metallica, is to perform their iconic song, Enter Sandman, at the service.
Ardent Royal watchers assert this proves the young Royals are now hell-bent on pushing the family’s traditional fuddy-duddy image into the modern age, following the recent break with tradition when during Harry and Meghan’s wedding the pop hit, Stand by Me, was performed by a gospel choir.
A source close to Prince William said: ‘Although they don’t look the type William and Kate are well into metal and ink and would rather have what they call some real music instead of boring old classical shit at the service.’
The leaked email goes on to say there must be provision made for a ‘mosh pit’ beside the altar and also a facility will be provided where the guests can have their drugs assessed for purity and safety.
However The Arch Bishop of Canterbury is vehemently opposed to the move and has stuck his big pointy hat into the unholy row. He told BBC: ‘This is a calamitous idea. What we need, as ever, for a Royal occasion is old fashioned, stuffy and boring classical music.’
‘The Devil’s rock ‘n’ roll is for the discotheque or jump joint. Not God’s House. But if we must move forward then for heaven’s sake why not compromise a little and have that nice Cliff Richard?’