Speaking off the record to one of his aides, Donald Trump, has said that his summit with Kim Jong-Un was ‘just a total blast.’

A leaked audio stream has appeared on the Internet where The President is clearly heard to say, ‘Listen that little cherub-faced guy might look all sweet and innocent but the joke he told me about a nun and a Saint Ber-nard dog had me blushing, and you know me, guys, I’m a totally ingnorant asshole and pretty well unshockable! But this was near the knuckle even for me. Trust me!’

Mr Trump, a big fan of Irish folk band, The Dubliners, went on to say how ‘the craic was ninety between them’ and that the meeting was just ‘bants bants bants from start to finish. I nearly pissed myself at least five times,’ he adds.

‘All that shit I said at the press conference afterwards was just for show. I didn’t want the world to think that we weren’t taking it seriously after all the hype. There are a lot of schmucks out there who, and Christ know why because I don’t, have total faith in me. They actually think I got into this racket to help the world. Wow, how dumb are they?’

Anyway enough of all that crap, what time are the hookers arriving? Let’s paaaarrrtayyy!’