Following Monday’s woefully belated interview with ‘Father of the Bride’, Thomas Markle, on ITV’s GMB, Piers Morgan has been admitted to an exclusive two thousand pound a day rehab clinic in Harley Street suffering from acute narcissism syndrome.
This morning viewers of the programme looked on, at first in detached bemusement, as following the opening titles Morgan appeared on-screen wearing ermine robes with a bejeweled crown carrying a golden orb and sceptre. Before he spoke a fanfare sounded.
‘All kneel before me Britain’s great unwash’d,’ said the former tabloid hack, before continuing, ‘I, Piers Morgan, winner of Celebrity Apprentice… I, the amazing Piers Morgan, personal friends with Donald Trump and Simon Cowell… I, the world’s most excellent and brilliant television presenter will now hold court.’
As cornflakes and coffee were spluttered all across the nation Morgan pointed to his co-host Susanna Reid and said: ‘You! Woman. I command you to say something… although rest assured no one is in the least bit interested in any utterance you may care to make.’ There was then a hasty and unscripted advert break.
When the show resumed Morgan had gone and Kate Garraway was seated alongside Ms. Reid. No further mention was made of the incident as the show then carried on to its grim conclusion with the normal mix of tawdry tittle-tattle, pure drivel and inconsequential froth.
Psychologist and behavioural expert, Dr Anders Schmit, told BBC News: ‘This has been coming now for some time and I’m not surprised. By comparison Mr Morgan makes Donald Trump seem diffident and self-effacing.’
Meanwhile the hashtag #prayforpiers has been started on Twitter by a Morgan fan with a total of one retweet so far.