Spinal Tap’s solstice appearance ends in chaos and bloodshed

Thousands of fans of the legendary 1980s Prog Rock supergroup, Spinal Tap, have been left stunned and furious after packing into Stonehenge at 3.30am this morning to see a special concert by the band, only to have their hopes dashed as lead guitarist Nigel Tufnel had an on-stage brawl with rhythm guitarist and frontman David St Hubbins.

The trouble started just as the sun began to rise in a completely cloudless sky over the Heel Stone, when bang on cue, the band struck up the opening bars of their iconic Stonehenge anthem. Lasers cut through the dawn’s early light and dry ice billowed around the stage which was set right in the middle of the monument’s inner circle.

One fan and a practicing Druid High Priest, Frodo Carmichael, described what happened next. ‘Nigel had just got to the mandolin bit and it was incredible, the combination of the lasers, the dry ice and the sun rising was mind-blowing. But then instead of being joined by cavorting little people, just like in the movie, that gang of tossers who won Britain’s Got Talent, Diversity, came out and made a mockery of the whole thing with some stupid bloody modern dance routine.’

‘Especially when they tried to throw the little guy with the bubble-perm over one of the Sarsens. His head cracked the rock and blood started pouring everywhere. Well he’s a right big unit now and they never stood a chance of him clearing it. Anyway there was a right kerfuffle and that’s when Nigel decked David and the whole thing ended in chaos and disarray. I’m gutted.’

Wiltshire Police have confirmed that they were called to a disturbance on Salisbury Plain early this morning but would give no further details.

Meanwhile the remainder of Tap’s UK tour is in question and repeated requests for an update from the band’s management have been met with a stony silence.

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