News is emerging today that dedicated food channel, The Food Network, has commissioned its very first non-food related show, which if all goes well during the production process, will be broadcast next Spring.

And as expected the news has been met with howls of dismay and thousands of complaints from The WI and Britain’s middle class housewives.

However, Richard Munnery, Network Controller, speaking in defence of the move says: ‘After broadcasting food-related content since launching, we just thought that we needed to ring the changes a little and that maybe it was finally time to throw a bit of a curve ball to our audience. Therefore I’m delighted to announce that we have commissioned crime writer Lynda La Plante to write and produce ‘Stonebake’ for us.’

Details are still sketchy but it’s understood that the show will feature eponymous private investigator, Mike Stonebake, an ex-cop with a heady and complex cocktail of gambling, drink and drug addictions to deal with, who has had to leave the force because his maverick MO didn’t fit with modern policing.

La Plante told TV Times: ‘I’m so excited to have been chosen to break the mould here and I’m already halfway through scripting the eight episode show. I hope that Mike Stonebake might just end up as iconic as DI Jane Tennison in time.’

Meanwhile self-styled King of Padstow and Superchef, Rick Stein, has hit back: ‘If you ask me this is a crazy move. I mean The Food Network does exactly what it says it does on the tin. To start screening a detective show amidst all of that will simply confuse the viewers. It would just as if the main terrestrial channel schedules, BBC and ITV etc. were to suddenly be awash with food and cooking programmes. It just wouldn’t work!’