Shock as David Cameron joins the cast of EastEnders

After completely shafting the UK when he was spooked by Nigel Farage, granting the UK’s racist xenophobic morons an EU referendum, subsequently losing it and then pissing off to live like a king off his many many millions, former Prime Minister David Cameron is to make a surprise comeback.

In a completely unexpected development The BBC has announced that he is to join top soap EastEnders reprising the role of James Wilmott-Brown. Perfectly cast as a feckless toff, Mr Cameron’s character will become a thorn in the side of Mick Carter with the blockbusting denouement of their storyline slated for the Christmas Day episode.

According to reports, one of them is to fall to their death from a bridge, following a drunken and bollock-naked brawl as rivalry between Carter’s Queen Vic and Wilmott-Brown’s Dagmar reaches fever pitch.

One EastEnders storyliner commented: ‘We got the idea when Danny called David a ‘twat’ live on TV recently and thought what great conflict we could create on the show. We expect ratings to soar from September when David starts recording his scenes.’

Meanwhile another programme insider said: ‘Danny is looking forward to meeting Mr Cameron, who if he knows what’s good for him, will keep his neck well and truly wound-in, or he’s liable to get a right good slap off of Danny if he tries coming it large with any old ‘Lord Muck’ bollocks.’

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