In what’s been seen as a surprise development by tournament organisers, it’s been announced that because Andy Murray withdrew from this year’s Wimbledon Championships, Sir Cliff Richard has been given a wild-card entry into the Men’s Singles and will play his first match on Centre Court tomorrow.
Cock-a-Hoop Sir Cliff (real name Harry Webb) is said to be delighted with the turn of events and speaking to his one-time heavily rumoured squeeze, Sue Barker, the Peter Pan of Pop said: ‘This is great for me, and dare I say, great for the game too. My inclusion in the tournament has given Brits in the crowd a true legend and icon to get behind.’
‘And you know, this is gonna sound a little bonkers, but I think I can go all the way as long as Roger Federer, Rafa Nadal and all the good players come down with some kind of awful lurgy and have to withdraw.’
However, bookies, Paddy Power, doesn’t see it that way and are offering ‘bachelor boy’ Cliff at 5,000,000/1. A spokesman commented: ‘He hasn’t got a hope in hell, but as a special we’ll refund all bets on him if he starts singing again should there be a rain delay.’
Meanwhile former champion and motormouth, John McEnroe, told reporters: ‘The guy’s a schmuck and hasn’t a chance. Yeah, sure thing, Cliff Richard win Wimbledon? YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS!!’