Donald Trump has thrown Britain’s diplomats and security services a total curve ball by making an off-the-cuff change to his schedule today. Because instead of flying into Stanstead Airport as planned, Mr Trump ordered Air Force One to make an immediate detour and landed at Belfast International instead.
Then at a hastily arranged press conference while standing beside The DUP’s Arlene Foster, he told reporters. ‘I’ve changed my itinerary for today to be here with the great folks of Northern Ireland on this their special Orange Day. I’m an orange kinda guy, well known for it, so how could I refuse when they’ve all gone to such great lengths to honour me. Just fantastic lengths. Wow!’
However Mr Trump’s maverick move has caused an unholy diplomatic incident with Sinn Fein’s leader, Mary Lou McDonald, protesting in the strongest terms, calling The President’s action ‘potentially incendiary and completely ignorant.’
But Trump hit back: ‘I don’t know who this Mary Lou dame is, but to me she sounds like she ought to be a Southern Belle and therefore should know better. What’s more my new good buddy here, Arlene, tells me that the folks Ms. McDonald represents are the equivalent of The Mexicans back home in the States. So quite frankly I don’t GIVE a damn!’
Mr Trump was then whisked off in a motorcade to Finaghy where he is expected to address the assembled bands and Orangemen later this afternoon.
Meanwhile diplomats have been left gob-smacked as the change in schedule will see The Queen snubbed, although speaking off the record one Palace source commented that on hearing the news Her Majesty fist-pumped the air three times and in a break with protocol shouted ‘Yessssssssss! Get in!!!’