A damning survey has been published singling out tyre and exhaust centres as providing Britain’s most infuriating level of customer service. Even worse than Post Offices.

Glenn Howe, the survey’s author, discussing his findings on Watchdog said: ‘Visiting one is everybody’s worst nightmare. You have to allow almost a full day for a process that should take no more than an hour.’

‘No matter what time you arrive, even if it’s 2 am, there are always four other customers in front of you and you have to sit in a squalid ‘waiting room’ that’s so grubby it wouldn’t be out of place in an abattoir.’

‘When it’s finally your turn,’ continues Howe, ‘you watch through the grime-encrusted window as they hoist your car up onto the ramp. Foolishly you look at your watch and think ‘great only another 30 minutes in this hell hole’. But sadly no, if only. The fitter walks underneath the car and taps at it with a mallet before sodding off leaving it untouched for at least another hour while he fixes three punctures then goes out the back for a fag break.’

‘Next the manager tells you they haven’t got your part but that his mate has gone to the other depot across town to get one for you. This takes another three hours.

‘They finally start work on your car but not before abandoning it for another thirty minutes to answer a phone call and deal with an irate customer who thinks they’ve been overcharged.’

‘By now it’s a quarter to six, and just as you’re contemplating beating yourself to death with a wheel brace a miracle occurs and the job finally gets completed. It’s just a needlesslu soul destroying ordeal,’ says Howe

But, Jim Lavery, of the Tyre and Exhaust Fitters Association slammed the survey as being ‘an utter fabrication’. Defending his members he said: ‘This is a gross exaggeration of the situation, oh… hang on… if you’ll excuse me for second, I’ve just got to…’ Whereupon he left the studio and hasn’t been seen since.