A leaked memo from Dutch multi-national technology giant, MegaCorp, posted online by a company whistle-blower, has today confirmed what we’ve suspected now for some time.
It states categorically that the company is well aware its new lower energy light bulbs are far too dim to be fit for purpose, but that more importantly despite some costing over £10 per unit, the outrageous claims made on the packaging suggesting they last for up to twenty years, is simply not true.
The leaked document then goes on to show damning research data indicating many units ‘blow’ just as quickly as the previous standard tungsten filament lamps used to.
As shares tumbled across global markets group CEO, Lars Seegers, convened a hasty press conference at MegaCorp’s Amsterdam HQ to refute the allegations. However things got off to a bad start when due to what were later discovered to be inadequate lighting levels in the workplace, he tripped over in the semi-darkness of the presentation suite and banged his head on the podium requiring medical attention.
Once recovered sufficiently to carry, on and fighting manfully to make his case despite of the sound of popping as lights fused all over the room, the hapless executive tried repair the damage but failed with MegaCorp shares down 27% on this morning’s opening price.
Meanwhile, Ron Chivers, a maintenance manager who looks after a cheese manufacturing plant in Ormskirk said: ‘I knew these bloody things were a fiddle. Last week when doing my end of year figures I was appalled by what we were paying for MegaCorp products. I showed my MD and now thankfully we’re switching back to fluorescent strips. My discovery was a true light bulb moment you might say ‘