It has emerged that a surprise last minute item had been added to the Salzburg Brexit negotiations by the British Delegation that saw Theresa May, Cabinet Ministers and backbenchers perform a short mini-musical called The Sound of Brexit. A new take on the classic 60s film and stage show The Sound of Music.

Hoping to have melted the hearts of the other EU Leaders, but in light of the ultimate outcome obviously having failed, despite new songs written by Sir Elton John, Gary Barlow and The Cheeky Girls, the piece followed the trials and tribulations of Governess Theresa who is charged with looking after a group of a fractious power-mad back-stabbing MPs – Boris, Michael, Jacob, Liam, Dominic, Andrea and Amber.

One number sees Theresa assemble her bickering and naughty charges all in a row to teach them a song called Dough? Oh dear, all about an alleged £39 billion pound Brexit divorce deal. We saw a dress rehearsal and thought it was a real tour de force, as one by one they all joined in the singing and looked to have been having the best time since Maggie Thatcher led them in their halcyon days.

In Fields of Wheat by Sir Elton, the pensive nanny is seen in dream sequence running through a field of wheat chased by an irate farmer. The scene then segues into the rousing ballad Climb Every Mountain before she’s joined on-stage again by the full cast singing the iconic, So Long, Farewell, as the curtain falls.

One insider who saw the entire performance said: ‘This initiative seemed to be a last gasp in a complete car crash of two years of stupefying bungling incompetence and was worth a try I suppose, but in all honesty I couldn’t help think that the final number seemed the perfect metaphor for the whole sorry business.’