Over the years America has certainly been at the forefront of what many observers on this side of the pond have referred to as ‘extremely questionable’, or at the very best, ‘highly suspect’ therapies and treatments.
However a craze that’s been sweeping through Beverley Hills this Summer looks set to make its debut in London’s Harley Street, as a new clinic offers specialist consultations to those who can afford $10,000 for a one-off session.
The Gas Assessment Therapy Centre will open its doors to Britain for the first time in October and if their website is to be believed every possible consultation slot is already fully-booked until August 2019.
Gas Practitioner, Dr Julius Caesar III, explains. ‘This is a new and exciting quasi-holistic treatment where we ask patients to pass gas into a bell jar. After they do so the sample is allowed to ferment inside our unique ‘fumenation Omega compartment’ for a week then puffed into a mass spectrometer, at which time we interpret the results and make our prognoses and suggestions regarding their choice of clothing colour and best type of pasta for them, and so on, based upon what their sample’s analysis has told us.’
Singer Cher and film star Matt Damon are seemingly both celebrity advocates of the treatment each attesting, in the company’s promotional video, ‘it has changed their lives forever’.
However the news has been met with concern by British Gas and Eon who are demanding to know whether Dr Caesar and his fellow practitioners are on the Gas Safe Register or at least have held Corgi Certificates in the past.