Most of the UK’s papers today are carrying staged photos of Boris Johnson on their front pages. Widely regarded as having been blatantly set-up to mock Theresa May’s revelation that the naughtiest thing she had ever done was ‘to run through a field of wheat as a girl’, may now have backfired on the galumphing oaf. Reports have since emerged that following the photo shoot Mr Johnson had to spend eighteen hours in A&E following a hitherto unknown wheat intolerance brought him out in a severe allergic reaction. Dr Raj Choudry, Senior Registrar at Birmingham’s Queen Elizabeth Hospital, told reporters: ‘He was admitted in quite a poorly condition with a severe rash covering up to 85% of his body, considerable swelling all over and worrying breathing difficulties.’ ‘We managed to treat the rash with antihistamine and other medication, reluctantly we fixed the breathing too, because once we had he never shut up, but we were really stuck when all attempts to reduce the swelling failed until we realised that it was simply down to his actual obese and corpulent out-of-condition body.’ It’s understood that Johnson has now sufficiently recovered and will continue later today with his plan to ‘make mischief and ’cause unrest’ at the Tory Party Conference where he is due to address delegates. Meanwhile a chirpy and beaming Mrs May was seen entering the conference hall looking considerably happier than she has done in recent months.