Political commentators have reported that a forlorn Theresa May was spotted earlier today in Starbucks Luton airport buying a bottle of fizzy water, a bag of cheese and onion crisps and a croque monsieur, before boarding a special flight for Brussels where she is to make a last gasp appeal to EU leaders pleading they accept the so-called Chequers agreement.
When asked by ITV’s Robert Peston why she had bought the items a puffy-eyed PM said that she thought she may be a little peckish after her meeting and they were just to keep her blood sugar levels up for the journey home.
‘Of course, normally I would be at the grand dinner for all EU leaders this evening, but when Mr Barnier explained that my my invitation must have been lost in the post I thought I’d give it a miss,’ mumbled Mrs May while dabbing her eyes with a lace handkerchief. ‘Even though obviously they were all on at me to attend saying they were sure another place could be set.’
‘However it’s all been rather fortuitous as you see I’m on this new diet and I’m doing rather well having lost 2 pounds this week. And I need to get back home to No.10 in time to make Philip his bedtime Ovaltine,’