Social Media giant, Facebook, has confirmed reports today that it only hired former Deputy Prime Minister, Nick Clegg, as Head of Global Operations, in order to be able to blame him every time they have a system failure, there is a breach of their security by Russian hackers or a Primary 3 class doing simple computer studies manages to wipe the details of 50,000,000 of their subscribers but not before having posted them online for the entire world to see.
Explaining the rationale behind the move, Brian O’Neil, Facebook’s HR Director told reporters: ‘This is a great strategic appointment for us. Nick Clegg is widely known to have been at fault for nearly everything since the time he sold British university students down the river to shamelessly further his own blind political ambitions. He is roundly despised by one and all and now he’s not got even a single shred credibility; certainly nobody is going to be in any way sympathetic towards him.’
‘So next time we have an embarrassing incident, say like the Cambridge Analytica thing, we will simply put up a brief statement – Sorry folks, but the current clusterfuck is down to our Head of Global Communications – #NickCleggsFault.Brilliant!’
Meanwhile there are unconfirmed reports that Mr Clegg has also been approached by Donald Trump and is to be offered the new role of ‘Scapegoat to The President’ working directly inside the Trump administration.