The Rev. Julian Plover from Swindon is today beginning a 2 year prison sentence after ‘losing it’ when he was unable to find an acceptable workaround for The Data Protection Act.

A court heard how he was attempting to make an emergency transfer of five hundred pounds at his bank into his son’s account held at the same branch. The money was to halt bailiffs carrying out an eviction order for rent arrears.

However when he failed to provide the clerk with written permission in triplicate, countersigned by two JPs, a Police Commissioner and HRH Prince William, he was not allowed to proceed with the transaction.

Speaking from the witness box Rev. Plover said: ‘The clerk told me that it was more than her job was worth to break the rules, insisting if she allowed me to deposit the money without adhering to the proper procedure as laid down by the act, then everybody would want to do it. After all I could’ve been anyone up to anything she said.’

‘But you see as I’m not tech-savvy I couldn’t make the transfer any other way, so I’m afraid I just lost my temper,’ continued the hapless holy man, ‘She was being so bloody infuriating that in the end I doused her with the contents of a small a phial of holy water I always carry with me for emergencies and then left, but was subsequently arrested and charged. Hence my appearance today in court.’

Rev. Plover hopes to be released in a year with full remission for good behaviour but sadly his son has since died from hypothermia after sleeping rough on a night when temperatures plummeted to minus 18 degrees.