The Irish Space Agency today held a press conference regarding a recent incident that occurred over the coast of Kerry, when a BA pilot flying from Montreal to Heathrow reported she’d seen ‘a very bright light and something moving very fast near her aircraft’.

The agency spokesman, who oddly enough did not have a stereotypically funny Irish name like Sean De Lear or Nick McGuinness, Dr Nial Malley, said: ‘We are not exactly sure what this pilot saw, as upon reviewing radar data at the time there appears to have been nothing in the sky but her own aircraft within a twenty mile radius of the area.’

‘Nevertheless our top space lads did analyse what little data there was, and the best they are able to come up with is this. What she saw was probably a spacecraft full of Martians uncloaking to ask her the way to Dublin for a great oul bit of Craic. It’s more than likely they were lost after taking a wrong turn at The Moon.’

One Temple Bar pub owner, Sean De Lear, commented: ‘Ah now, that’s what it probably was right enough I’d say. We’re getting a lock of extraterrestrials in these days. Sure only da udder evening we had a gang of fine young buckos from Alpha Centauri in here on a stag night.’

‘Jazeus, but dem lads can’t half drink. Nearly wrecked me feckin’ lounge they did, but as they hadn’t a clue about the value of money I charged them €55 a pint. Begob, Kerching! Wha? To tell the truth we’d love to see more aliens visit us. They’re so much easier to fleece than the normal gangs of pissed-up Brummies.’