Sir Bob Geldof has waded into the fray, and in an unprecedented major diplomatic coup has persuaded many of the Britain’s leading parliamentarians, of all political hues, to record a CD album to try and heal the open sores in the aftermath of the Brexit draft deal announcement.
Speaking to BBC’s Stuart Maconie he said: ‘I couldn’t sit back and watch the madness any longer. The pfokin rest world is teetering on the brink of pfokin Armageddon and all these pfokin eejits can do is squabble amongst each other but get absolutely pfok all achieved. I just had to do something to try and unblock the current impasse.’
‘It was tough getting some of them to agree but once Bananarama came on-board the project we found it really helped; particularly with Boris.’
Rather than performing as a collaborative vocal choir each contributor has recorded an individual song with two bonus duets.
Sir Bob added: ‘Turns out John Redwood really is pfokin tone-deaf, but Midge (Ure) got him to whistle the theme to M*A*S*H and we have since corrected all the bum notes with auto-tune and a shed-load of reverb.
The CD is released this Friday with the following provisional track listing:
Theresa May – Looking for Clues
Michael Gove – Stand by Me
Jeremy Corbyn – Dedicated Follower of Fashion
Jacob Rees-Mogg – Scary Monsters (and Super Creeps)
John Redwood – Suicide is painless – theme to M*A*S*H (instrumental)
Boris Johnson – Champagne Supernova
John McDonnell – Taxman
Esther McVey – The First Cut Is The Deepest
Vince Cable – Anarchy in the UK
Nigel Farage – God Save The Queen (Sex Pistols)
Bananarama – Robert De Niro’s Waiting
Boris Johnson & Jacob Rees-Mogg – I’m With Stupid
Theresa May & Arlene Foster – You’re My Best Friend