Darren Shite, a homophobic racist with a strong liking for Fascism is incandescent with rage today, following a bungled attempt to overthrow Prime Minister Theresa May by the Tory Party extremist faction, The European Reform Group, failed by a very wide margin yesterday.

‘How she’s got the bloody cheek to cling on to her job after securing a paltry two-thirds of the vote is shameful. She’s scraped through by the skin of her teeth, just like Jacob Rees-Mogg said on TV last night and there needs to be a second vote. The whole thing’s a bloody farce,’ fumed Mr Shite.

‘Look I’m a Brexiteer and I don’t make no bones about it,’ continued the 28 year-old trainee Estate Agent, ‘but believe me I have no qualms about it at all. Britain’s decision to leave is firmly grounded by a thumping majority of the people who voted so what I say is “let the will of the British people be done”. Why should we have a second vote? We voted once already. We won – they lost. End of! It’s just like that stupid little foreign rat fella says in them ads. Simples!’