David Blaine has been conspicuously quiet for some time, but now for his fans the long wait is finally over, because at a press conference on Manhattan’s Lower East Side earlier today the illusionist announced details of his next, and some say, his most ambitious stunt to date.

The piece named, Just Pissing Around, will see the weirdy-beardy street illusionist not doing very much at all really for an amazing three months. Suspended from a crane over his agent’s house and inside a gigantic glass pyramid, he will be seated on a green leather armchair watching a 72″ plasma TV for most of the time.’

‘He may get up to make the odd cup of coffee or perhaps read a newspaper but there was no definite confirmation of this. Occasionally he may also yawn, scratch his bollocks and emit the sound “Pfft!” if he gets ‘a bit fed up’.”

His agent told the world’s media: ‘In the past critics have said that for the most part David’s showpiece stunts have been boring, that there has been very little to see and that actually next to nothing happens day-to-day. Well let’s see them tell us this one isn’t real special.’

‘And you know, sitting about being a regular guy is something that David finds incredibly hard to manage. He sees himself as this totally amazing super-super human being and craves attention every waking minute of the day, and just to behave like an ordinary person for the duration of this stunt could well mess his head up for good. I’d be lying if I said we’re not all very worried about what this may do to his mind long-term.’