America’s First Lady, Melania Trump, has been announced as the new face of Sandeman Port in an image restructuring exercise by the Portuguese drinks company.
A spokesman said: ‘We felt our old brand was kinda sinister – too dark and menacing for our product and we’re delighted to have now signed Melania to be the Anti-Sandeman… er… Woman, if you will. We felt that she embodies the qualities that we want our product to represent in today’s vibrant drinks market.’
However it’s understood that president Trump is not entirely happy with his wife’s new role. When asked by the press about Melania’s new venture at a White House briefing he said: ‘Melania is a real swell girl. She’s the swellest. We have a great relationship, just the best relationship FACT.’
‘But I hope she knows what she’s doing taking a job working with folks who are not Americans. It would be sad, real sad, in fact just the saddest thing ever if she was to do something that in some way might rock the boat and somehow undermine my image as the greatest guy in the world, EVER!’