Sussex Police have released the names of two people arrested in connection with the recent incidents at Gatwick, when airborne devices were flown in close proximity to commercial aircraft causing the suspension of all flights in and out of the airport.

The suspects have been named as Agustus Fink-Nottle and Bertram Wilberforce Wooster, both members of the exclusive Drones Club in London’s Mayfair. It is understood they have been placed on police bail pending further investigation.

Hildebrand (Tuppy) Glossop, a fellow Drones Club member and friend of Fink-Nottle and Wooster, spoke to reporters from a hunkered-down position peering out from the club’s doorway because a large stuffed moose was wedged between the jambs and was blocking the main entrance. ‘I say, what a proper rannygazoo. Old Gussie and Bertie getting into a spot of hot water like this. I expect they only did it as a bit of a lark, what?’

However Reginald Jeeves, personal gentleman’s gentleman to Wooster commented: ‘Speaking in mitigation for my master, Mr Wooster, if I may, I have to say that whereas in many respects he is a perfectly pleasant and mostly law abiding young gentleman, sadly he is mentally negligible. Add to this the possible addition of too much alcohol having been imbibed, then it perhaps easy to understand, but not to condone in any way, his participation in this affair.’

‘Nevertheless there can be no acceptable excuse made and if indeed he is charged and subsequently found guilty, then I can see no alternative to him being grounded for the foreseeable future.