If unconfirmed reports are to be believed then some of the country’s saddest people, seemingly with nothing better to do with their empty lives on Christmas Day than stand for hours in the freezing cold, in the hope of catching a glimpse of the Royal Family going to church, may have had a ringside view of an astonishing brawl said to have taken place between The Duchesses of Cambridge and Sussex.
Michael Davenport, a thirty one year-old HR manager, who had travelled from Cornwall told Majesty magazine: ‘It was so exciting when we caught a glimpse of the family. The Duchesses were walking side-by-side smiling for the cameras when I spotted Meghan doing a sneaky shimmy catching Kate’s heel, sending her completely arse-over-tit and leaving her sprawling on the ground.’
‘Well that was it and it all just kicked off. Kate got up and punched Meghan in the left boob calling her a ‘Canadian gold-digging slag’ before the pair started trading blows, only to have the fight halted when princes William and Harry grabbed their wives from behind as both girls continued to kick and flail wildly at each other. Luckily the boys managed to drag them off into the church and it all calmed down.’
Buckingham Palace is yet to comment on the reports.