Sajid Javid’s trip on board a naval vessel yesterday to fight the incoming tsunami of migrants singlehandedly, is being heralded as an immense success by The Prime Minister and other members of her cabinet today.
However now emboldened by his new-found tough guy image, it is understood Mr Javid has thrown down the gauntlet to fellow Minister, Gavin Williamson, challenging him to a bare-chested cage fight to settle the issue of which of them is the tougher.
It may be remembered Williamson himself acquired a similar hard-as-fuck reputation when he told Vladamir Putin to ‘Go away and shut up’ last year. Promoter Frank Warren confirmed that if the challenge is accepted the bout will be screened on pay-per-view by BT Sport.
Speaking off the record to confidants Mr Javid said: ‘I could take that beastly little oik any day. He’s nothing more than a sniveling Mummy’s Boy who’s giving it large because he has the backing of the armed forces behind him. But he hasn’t the balls to go mano a mano with me.’
Further and as yet unconfirmed reports are suggesting that upon hearing the news, Leader of the House Andrea Leadsom said: ‘Leave him, Gav. He ain’t worth it!’
Meanwhile a source close to Mr Williamson commented: ‘Listen, Gavlar would be only too glad to sort Sajid out… if only it wasn’t for the fact he has to be in bed by eight-thirty every night as soon as he does his homework and has his hot milk. You see his Mum and Dad insist on it.’