Those who mocked yesterday’s, what many called ‘a disorganised and farcical’ lorry congestion no-deal Brexit trial at the disused Manston Airfield in Kent, may have to eat humble pie if reports emerging this afternoon are to be believed.

Although as yet unconfirmed, the reports suggest the exercise was in fact an elaborate diversionary tactic to hide the Governments’s real purpose which was the assembly of a crack new RAF force.

Believed to have been designated 180 Squadron and nicknamed The Dinghybusters, they are to undergo a rigourous training programme over Scottish lochs, after which based at Manston, they will patrol the English Channel flying several recommissioned Spitfires armed with professional tournament quality tungsten darts.

One caller to LBC’s Nick Ferrari said: ‘Hurrah! This is what we’ve been waiting for. This is the British spunk and war spirit that made us great. Finally sticking it to these would-be illegal migrants. Now if our brave and gallant lads spot them in their dinghies trying to overrun us they can simply pepper them with three well-aimed darts and whoosh… quite literally. Bravo! Rule Britannia and bring back The Empire!’