In what commentators are calling a desperate last-gasp attempt to postpone a Commons defeat and to deflect further condemnation over her catastrophic handling of Britain’s shambolic exit from the EU, Theresa May has said a one-off special episode of ‘It’s a Knockout’ will be shown on ITV tomorrow night.

It’s understood ‘It’s a Cop Out’ will be a reboot of the once popular prime time entertainment show of the 1970s and 80s; a time when people lapped up absolutely any old nonsense as viewing choices were practically nonexistent.

Speaking to reporters she said: ‘Never mind this silly old Brexit nonsense. Everyone is jolly well fed up listening to all the endless squabbling. So what’s needed for the nation’s morale is a bit of fun good old fashioned fun and that’s what we’re going to give everyone.’

‘Just imagine Jacob Rees-Mogg and Boris Johnson in fat suits, well Jacob at least, swinging gigantic toilet brushes and standing on a four-inch beam suspended above a swimming pool trying to knock The Chancellor and Home Secretary into the drink. I mean Hahaha! And that’s just one of the many japes and pranks we have planned. ‘Brexit? Brexit Schmexit!’

In answer to charges the move is simply a clumsy diversion to avoid the stark reality of impending defeat and utter humiliation she added: ‘No, not at all, I… Ooh! Look at that lovely butterfly over there!’