News this evening that the unearthing of a video tape of David Bowie’s first TV appearance as Ziggy Stardust, previously believed to have been accidentally wiped, has the music world in a spin.

Many big household names are now in fear that their own fledgling efforts might yet come to light, despite these having been actively censored by the acts themselves and their management.

And nowhere is this fear being felt more keenly than in the camp of pretend musicians Boyzone who are believed to have filed an unusual preemptive injunction in the High Court, stating anything shown that predates their now legendary appearance on RTE’s Late Late Show will see those daring to show it in seriously expensive hot water.

The so-called ‘band’s’ (band my arse!) main man Ronan Keating told The One Show: ‘It’s an indisputable fact that we were worse than shite when we did that programme. I mean when I see it now I always laugh it off but deep down it hurts, it really does. It was a total disgrace. Jazeus but we sucked like a supercharged Dyson.’

‘But believe me, I know for a fact there’s even worse footage of us out there. Stuff so terrible that it makes what we did on Gay Byrne look like pfokin’ hoigh art. Believe me loike… pfokin shockin’ stuff altogether. Embarrassin’. Stuff that just must not ever be allowed to see the light of day. Hence the lawyers getting involved.’

Nevertheless the hunt is now on to find the footage with one online source from outside the UK offering a reward of £200,000 for anyone that can secure it for them.