Emergency legislation is to be rushed through parliament that will make it a criminal offence, punishable by a term of up to six months imprisonment, for TV Chefs who feature recipes on their programmes in which a whole head of cauliflower is roasted as the centerpiece of a meal.
The move is in response to thousands of complaints from viewers that in recent months TV cooking shows across many different networks have featured this dish with monotonous regularity and it’s becoming too irritating for words. On one recent Saturday morning alone, Roasted Head of Cauliflower featured as the centrepiece on both ITV’s James Martin’s Saturday Morning and BBC’s Saturday Kitchen.
Keen home chef and cooking show fan Steve Wallace said: ‘It was ridiculous. I watched BBC live and didn’t fancy the recipe at all but when I then watched James Martin later on catch-up and he did it as well I was completely gobsmacked. I had people coming round for a dinner party that night too. In the end I was stuck for and idea of what to cook for them so I had to get an Indian takeaway instead. It made me look lazy.’
Meanwhile a government department spokesman commented: ‘Before anyone gets the wrong idea this is not the beginning of some kind of a backlash against militant Vegetarianism or persecuting anyone’s Vegan values. It’s not the cauliflower in itself that is the problem here. It’s the smug middle class trendiness of the recipe we’re nipping in the bud!’